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Gordian Swimwear
I was taught a number of relaxation techniques and in the interests of avoiding a life on lithium or ritalin or whatever the cool kids are doing these days I started putting them into effect during moments of stress.
Like take lunchtime today for example. I was stuck in an interminable line of people waiting for the sushi guy to chop up enough tuna and salmon pieces to put on top of little bundles of sticky rice and I'm checking the girls behind the counter to see if any of them are missing the ends of their little fingers and were maybe Yakuza molls before they came to London, no luck.
Deep breath one, deep breath two. I think of a beach somewhere. The queue goes nowhere.
Deep breath three, deep breath four. I might sound like I'm hyperventilating but I'm actually attempting to add auditorial stimulation to the daydream and the breathing should sound like distant waves.
I imagine The Girl. She walks towards me. The queue resolutely stays put. I can smell fish and salt, is that the fantasy or the sushi? There is the slightest gust of wind and a stream of hair covers one cheek. She lifts it away from her eyes and lifts the corner of her mouth in a smile.
One hand sweeps behind her neck and I draw her close. I feel the press of her body and there is an uncomfortable moment as I step back a pace in the queue and excuse myself to the woman ahead of me. Behind my eyes her lips part and they are moist and welcoming, her eyes close and my fingers start to undo the knot at the back of her neck.
I'm... having a little... trouble with the knot. Damn thing is... wow. Um... ok, just try again. One handed, behind her neck, unable to see what I'm doing I feel my blood pressure start to rise. Stay calm, its just a stupid knot.
I close my eyes and focus as my fingers slip and fumble with the knot. I take a deep breath, then another. I imagine myself in a perfectly ordinary London sushi bar, waiting in a queue that refuses to move forward...
Aug. 8.2007