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Negatory
My therapist suggested that I start saying "no" more often. The obvious joke at the time was to refuse but I avoided it. I could see the beginnings of a smirk at the corner of her mouth as she realised I had contemplated and decided against it. She was obviously making progress with me.
In practice it wasn't as easy as I had imagined it would be. There are so many ways to say no and if your immediate reaction is to say yes or just to aquiesce to something then you find yourself working against your own instincts. There would be a slight delay as the brain said yes and the mouth said no.
"Can you help me fix this Excel graph?"
beat
"No, I don't know how to do anything in Excel"
I struggle against years of being told I could do better or that I wasn't reaching my potential. It has only recently become obvious to me that I am good at things that I don't want to be good at. I feel like Michael Palin being told his perfect job would be Chartered Accountant only for him to wail "I already *am* a Chartered Accountant!" These things that I am good at are things other people seem to find difficult. I in turn find it almost impossible to lie or hide my true feelings; if I am sad its pretty bloody obvious that I am. It just feels a lot of the time like I'm being asked to assist with the most basic functions any chimp should be able to fulfill.
"Can you help me absorb this oxygen into my bloodstream and maybe digest some of this food I've eaten for me?"
beat
"No, I don't know how to breathe or eat, I'm a hardcore oxygenarian"
Now if somebody wanted help with writing a screenplay, or maybe they had a lot of money they needed to spend in a very short space of time, then I would have no trouble with saying yes of course, let me help! I guess people don't want to give up the fun things though.
Jun.14.2007