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The Consistent Rules of Virtual Violence
Having thought long and hard about it I have decided to bump breasts down from the top spot of what I look for in a woman. Anyone who has seen the many iterations of the design on this site and met any of my girlfriends is going to be utterly stunned, but I really have discovered that, amazingly there is something more important to women than breasts. And look, this is just going to floor you, but it isn't any other part of their anatomy either.
Recount! I hear you cry. He's lost it!, the Greek chorus sings in lament most solemn, Gay! the ego berates me. And I say to you that it is a narrow victory and breasts are still way up there in every way possible, its just that there's something else I've thought long and hard about and it's won at last: understanding.
Any woman can have breasts, but you have to go a long way to find understanding. Double-whammy if you can find a woman with breasts who understands why breasts are important, but even better if she "gets you" so to speak. I have to figure that women know guys like breasts, otherwise they wouldn't buy those bras with the lace that peeks just over the edge of the low-cut top and tantalizes and teases and says these look splendiferous and we know it
What, you might ask does this, the hell have to do with anything? Well see, I got a Nintendo Wii this weekend. And this isn't a post about how my girlfriend understands I need to get my Wii on, this is about how my girlfriend found it for me, notified me that HMV had a limited stock of them, and came back with me to exchange the games when I discovered a few hours after buying it that they'd messed up the discs, and then how we Wii'd together all weekend.
The Wii is the most physically demanding console I've ever played, and somehow it is also the most satisfying. I'm not just playing these games I am defining, through my interactions exactly how my avatar deals with the situations that are thrown my way. I am in utter immersive control and the need for photo-realistic graphics has, like breasts taking a back seat to understanding, been cast aside for this utterly immersive control scheme.
I've played games that have scared the crap out of me (Thief 3, System Shock 2, Doom 3, in that order of pant-wettingness) and games that have thrilled me but I have never played a game system that has let me control it like this.
And the other factor that has made me fall so much in love with the Wii is watching my beloved, with all her body and all her focus, fishing fish, returning power serves, hitting home runs and beating down digital characters in seconds. Finally we have found the way for her to understand and participate in my love of gaming and never before have we had this same frame of reference.
When I watch her standing like some Amazonian warrior woman, following three left jabs up with a powerhouse right hook, knocking her opponent off his feet flat onto the canvas I shudder at the thought of what will happen when we go head to head. I am in little doubt that where in real life she can command my attention with the merest flash of cleavage she will now destroy me in the virtual world with her understanding of this new form of video gaming.
Jan.28.2007