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Guy Talk
I sat down on the steps next to the Super-Death Uber-Kill Destructo-Bot and took a sip from my Coke and a drag from my cigarette. The Destructo-Bot fumed without saying anything and I imagined I could hear a furious whirring sound from inside the impenetrable neutron-deflecting ablative carapace that protected its core systems. One lethal bladed mandible tapped the granite steps sending occasional fragments flying.
"Fucking women" it finally said through an aural vocoder box behind a mesh in its upper torso.
"Tell me about it mate" I replied rhetorically.
"Fucking... fucking... god damn them all"
It didn't look like it was crying but then I couldn't see past the shielded polarised lenses that covered the variety of sensorial equipment and cameras it used for navigation and target acquisition.
"You want a cigarette?" I lamely offered, hoping to draw it out further.
"Nah. Thanks anyway" There was a lengthly pause as we both watched a few pigeons fight for a scrap of crust before it added "You got a woman in your life?"
"Yes indeed. Brilliant woman, full of life, lives for the moment, body to die for, smile worth killing for" I responded slightly too enthusiastically.
The Uber-Death Killbot flexed one hand full of foot-long eviscerating blades and shrugged slightly, shifting the shoulder-mounted Multiple Launch Rocket System and Electronic Counter Measure package on its back with a clank.
"Course its not all roses" I added quickly "she can be infuriating at times too and a little impulsive"
For a second I thought the mechanical genocidal construct was about to let fly with a hail of bullets and blades that would leave me a squidgy pile of spaghetti sauce. The lumpy kind. Instead it raised one manipulator pseudo pod clad in interlocking panels of titanium and appeared to rub beneath its visual sensor array.
"Yeah, they can be like that" it finally admitted "but good for you mate. Good for you"
Stuck without anything left to say I stood up and made a show of dusting myself down before stepping on the glowing end of my cigarette. I held the empty can in my hand and pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows in a weak expression of camaraderie, nodding ineffectually.
"Well, you take it easy big fella" I hazarded and turned to leave.
"You gonna just toss that?" asked the machine and there was the twinkle of a malevolent red glow behind the polarised lenses. It extended the pseudo pod and I didn't resist as it took the empty Coke can from me. A tiny hatch opened and the can disappeared inside the hulking mass of armored plates. There was a sound like foil being torn and the Super-Death Uber-Kill Destructo-Bot nodded his thanks.
"I can always use the raw materials"
Jan.16.2007