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Health And Safety
I charmed my way through the initial phone interview, aced the face to face and cleared the bar with no less than three top notch references, including one from the boss I was leaving to go and work for the Institute for Disaster Research when normally I would have expected him to be quite sour over losing me.
So it was on a dreary Monday morning, with my head still somewhat fuzzy from the leaving drinks on Friday that had finally ended on Sunday, that I drove carefully up the long winding drive to the isolated Institute. I parked in a space reserved for "Product Testing", my new department, and headed into the lobby. Above the entrance was the institute's crest and the motto errare humanum erk!
The receptionist looked like she'd done ten rounds with Mike Tyson before accompanying him home for more of the same without the protection of gloves or a referee. She snapped a tooth from her gum before giving me a piano keyboard smile.
"Good morning Sir, how may I help?"
There was a deafening explosion from outside and as I ducked down I spotted several flaming tires roll past the glass doors and trundle off down the driveway. They looked suspiciously familiar.
"What in the name of Lisa-Marie Presley was that?"
The receptionist consulted a large date book.
"Product testing. The Personal Disasters team were experimenting to see how disastrous it would be if someone were to fill up their car with napalm instead of petrol."
She closed the date book and I saw that the cover was embossed in gold lettering with Recipes for Disaster. I suddenly had a deep sense of foreboding about this new job.
Nov.17.2006