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Rainbow Fish
I had spent a wonderful day at the London Aquarium but it was finally time for bed so I curled up and went to sleep.
I awoke with a start to see three dark silhouettes towering over my bed. Each was over eight feet tall and tappered towards the floor. The air smelled of salt and brine and there was a whiff of rotting fish. A floppy wet fin wrapped around my throat and I was pulled face first towards two crescents of razor-sharp teeth, three rows deep.
"What's the big idea buster?!"
I made a noise like a kitten wetting itself as the shark barked its question and I saw down into the gaping black maw of its gullet. It couldn't hold my throat, shout at me and see me all at once due to its eyes being on either side of its prominent snout so I was thrown back against the pillows roughly and a black beady accusatory eye glared at me.
"You tell him Zippy!" cheered one of the other dark torpedo silhouettes around the bed.
"Yeah, how would you like it if we tapped on your glass tank endlessly?"
"Uh... George... he's not in a glass tank; he's in some soft squishy thing like a sponge."
The three sharks looked down at my bed quizzically.
"Well fillet me with a fishfork and drench me in lemonjuice. So he is..."
"Here, Bungle, we could just poke at the soft squishy thing the human is trying to sleep in, that'll teach him."
The foolish creatures proceded to poke at the mattress for the next few hours with the points of their wet fins and I promptly fell back asleep. Amazing that the species isn't extinct by now...
Jun.13.2005