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Adam & Eve
"You're nervous"
I'm not nervous, I replied.
"Yes you are, you've been chewing on that fingernail for fifteen minutes now. It's looking like a peeled shrimp. They're going to love you, stop worrying."
Eden's parents had come to London to meet me. We'd decided that we were at that stage where we were happy with the way the relationship had progressed and were looking to see how compatible our lives could be. After friends and friends of friends comes parents. Then maybe we'd start looking at flats. The argument over whether we'd be living in London or Tel Aviv had yet to be had at this point.
"Relax, they'll love you just as much as I do."
I can't relax, your father's one of the heroes of Entebbe and your mother is in the Knesset. My father's a retired dentist and my mother works for Disney. I'm slightly intimidated by your parents you know. They're on the forefront of politics and the struggle of the Israeli people and... what are you doing?
"I brought a yarmulke for you to wear."
But I'm not Jewish.
"Yes, I was going to talk to you about that before my parents arrived. Remember all those Yiddish words I've been teaching you? Well you might want to sprinkle them liberally into the conversation. Avoid all direct conversation about religion and just let them get the wrong impression. Talk to dad about guns and planes or something. It'll make life a lot easier."
I see.
"When mother asks about children just ignore her, I'll take care of that part of the conversation. Don't worry about it when she asks where we plan on living, I'll be coming here. Also, if you find yourself doubting yourself or the relationship at any point during the evening just remember that what we did last night we can do again tonight and both my parents are rich. Here they come."
All I could say was "Bubeleh!"
May.14.2004