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Envy: Day's Results
So it got to be quite ridiculous as I tried to find something to covet today, I hadn't realised it would be such a difficult task. Eventually I had to pester Pix as we sat waiting for our lunch order.
D: "That's a nice scrunchy"
Pix: "thanks"
D: "I'm really jealous of that scrunchy, I wish I had one"
I felt like Jake and Elwood asking the rich diner to sell them his children.
Pix: "What do you need a scrunchy for?"
D: "To tie up my hair if it ever got longer"
Pix: "Don't be silly"
D: "No really, give me the scrunchy. What do I have to do for it?"
Pix: "Get down on your hands and knees and yap like Reese Witherspoon's dog in Legally Blonde"
So I did. On the floor of the café.
D: "Yap, yap, yap!"
Pix: "You didn't get down on all fours, you just put your hands down beside your knees"
D: "That wasn't a condition, you just said hands and knees. You never said anything about assuming a doggy position"
Pix: "Well I'm not giving you the scrunchy anyway, my hair's a mess and I need it"
So I pestered her continuously about it until finally she relented and gave it to me, at which point I discovered that having spent so long fixating on it and wanting it, only to now possess it, that it was pointless me owning a scrunchy.
I've learned my lesson. Envy is useless, necessity is better. Now I have to buy her a new scrunchy cause she doesn't want the old one back.
May. 5.2003