Previous ||| Next
Template for a Seinfeld Script Redux
Originally posted on Bulletproof Punk on July 30th, 2001
1) Begin in Jerry's apartment, within the first minute at least two other regular cast members must enter the apartment either by buzzing up or by throwing themselves through the door. They must go via the fridge unless Jerry is already at the fridge
2) One of the following happens:
- If George enters, he must complain about a new girlfriend or his parents
- If Elaine enters, she must whine about being single or needing new clothes
- If Kramer enters he must either have a crackpot scheme or be interested in helping out the others with theirs
- If Newman enters he will not have mail for Jerry, he will however sneer
3) Kramer's crackpot scheme or an event Jerry has planned will be dissected and Jerry will make a joke into a question with an open-ended, hands-out gesture, nodding his head slightly
4) The episode will then follow the plot threads started in the opener with:
- Elaine complaining to her boss/colleagues/Jerry
- George doing anything to save money, his job or the chance of sex
- Kramer being blissfully unaware that his scheme is crazy
5) Jerry will perform on stage and have nothing funny to say
6) The episode winds up with the threads coming together again in Jerry's apartment:
- Elaine doesn't get what she deserves
- George is worse off than he was to begin with
- Kramer has either given up on his idea or lost interest in it now that everyone agrees with it
- Jerry will try and make light of their troubles and make at least one reference to Superman, baseball or how much money he makes as a comedian
7) The episode closes with Jerry on stage doing either a reprise of his earlier performance with more scathingly obvious comments or indirectly commenting on the morality of his friend's actions during the episode. The last freeze-frame will again be Jerry with his hands out in an "I don't get it" gesture, with a scrunched-up look on his face
This should in no way hide the fact that I *hate* Seinfeld
Apr.23.2003