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How To Drive Your Woman Wild In Bed
- Chew your toenails
- Repeat everything back to her but change the inflection so that if she says "What are you doing?" you reply "What am I doing?", "What am I doing?"
- Test the bulb in your bedside lamp by switching it on and off repeatedly at random intervals
- Read your book silently, with your lips moving. Doesn't matter if you're actually reading or not, the movement from the corner of her eye will drive her wild
- Wriggle your toes under the sheets, making a scratchy noise, when she asks what the noise is, stop and listen with her before starting again
- Slide one foot out from under the sheets and let it go cold. bring it back under the sheets and play "hunt the warm flesh"
- Rearrange your pillows incessantly. Tell her you're seeking perfection
- Tell her you can't sleep
- Tell her you can't sleep
- Tell her you can't sleep
- Tell her you still can't sleep
- Ask her for a bedtime story involving mutant monkeys
If you follow these simple tips then your woman will eventually become wild in bed and probably kick you quite violently.
Apr.14.2003