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The most boring tradesman in Britain
The guy checking the gas heaters is *still* here three hours on. If he tells me one more "amusing" story about losing tools in strange places or trapping cats under floorboards then I am going to take his stupid electric screwdriver and get Driller Killer on his ass.
So far he has checked out the two hotplate clusters, sorted out the oven (which is electric and has nothing to do with why he is here) dismantled kitchen cupboards that "looked a bit shoddy" and given me all the advice I could possibly need about kitchen sinks and outlet valves for radiators.
Not only could the guy cure insomnia but he could be left beside people in vegetative states to persuade them to snap out of it and ask him to shut the fuck up. The slightest thing reminds him of "this job I was on a few years back" and the punchline is usually "well, anyway, yeah, so that was that".
If he's still here in an hour you might as well alert the authorities and give them a head start.
Mar. 7.2002