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Stardate: 032902
The phone wakes me, its lunchtime on a public holiday, so everyone else is home too but I'm the only one asleep. Its Pix phoning to say she arrived safely in Glasgow and had to sit beside Carole Smiley. Unfortunately Smiley Smiley Carol Smiley arrived safely too.
I hang up and go and check on the turtles having already told her that they're fine. Time for turtle check. Usually when a large moving object appears before the tank they climb over each other to get to the glass. I'd like to think its because they understand who is boss, but I suspect this is turtle-language for "feed us you lazy fuck!"
One turtle... two tur... no, thats the same one again. Okay, one turtle... t... t... t... where's number two?
Call out the dogs! Man the watchtowers! Philo has escaped! All this time I was lulled into the false sense of security by his insistence to bash his head against the glass of the tank. I was figuring impending brain damage but the damned fool finally found a way to render himself intangible and phase through solid glass!
Oh. No, he's hiding under a leaf. Two.
I notice that one of the logs they like to climb up onto to sun themselves under the UV striplight has some hair on it so I fish it out of the tank and head downstairs to the bathroom to wash it. One of the housemates stops me halfway.
What? This? I was playing Star Trek, and this is my captain's log.
Why do people ask such stupid questions, of course its a log, it has fake leaves stapled to it, and I have a turtle tank, duh! One day I'll work out just who's toothbrush is who's and then I'll spinkle baking soda between the bristles.
Mar.29.2002