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Digitalis
The cardinal sins to be avoided when making and marketing a DVD;
1. For there to be a Special Edition, a regular edition must exist first.
2. The Warner Bros. cardboard cases are evil! They are evil! Use plastic!
3. When using the plastic cases, ensure that the release pins at center of disc actually release disc when depressed.
4. Sleeve notes. Puh-leeze! Embrace the technology you monkey!
5. A Special Boxed Set must unfold along the natural progression of the movie or TV series contained therein from first to last, not resemble the bastard spawn of an origami Lament Configuration Box
6. Interactive Menus and Scene Selection are not Special fucking Features.
7. Region encoding. Puh-leeze, who do you think you're kidding? Personal Import companies are my friends.
8. Audio Commentary; unless its the star of the movie, the writer or one of the few director's who takes any pride in finishing a film then you're just wasting storage space. Put a few Itchy and Scratchy episodes on the disc instead.
9. Rereleasing the same disc with new documentaries is an offense punishable with being strangled with your own constricting anal ring.
10. The 2-disc Fight Club ruled. Make your DVDs like Fight Club. In fact, make the movies like Fight Club.
11. Easter Eggs. Puh-leeze!
12. Indiana Jones trilogy and Star Wars holy trilogy: When?
13. Putting pan & scan on one side and widescreen on the other is another waste of time, this is the new millenium, anybody asking for pan & scan should be ridiculed, tarred and feathered and run out of town with their shitty 4:3 TV set.
14. Putting an artist's videos onto a disc and then selling it as a new DVD/CD only works if it has boobs, or a similar reason to use the very veeeeery slow scan forward and back function.
15. Battlefield Earth on DVD: hahahahahaha, good one, but do we really need more landfill filler? Isn't that what real garbage is for?
Thats all for now. Got any suggestions?
Mar. 1.2002